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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26238004">all you can feel is your lungs flood</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sleepy Boys Inc, Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, wilbur soot but make him (sad)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:09:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>937</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26238004</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>wilbur soot i̶s̶n̶'̶t̶ is okay. he promises.</p><p>sometimes.<br/>(lowercase-intended)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Only Platonic - Relationship, Philza &amp; Wilbur Soot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>434</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>all you can feel is your lungs flood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>a sad strum of a guitar sounded in an empty beach to an audience of one. the player, and his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>non-existent applauds ringed through his head, the musician’s smile growing for a second. it dropped as he took in the realization that the applause wasn’t real, the same sadness he felt before encasing him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it was why he came to the beach in the first place, to forget about his sadness. the sea is a great place to think of the future, after all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the sudden ding from his phone scared him as he put the guitar down to check his notifications.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>[8 messages from ph1lza] </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ah, he must’ve missed those. </span>
  <em>
    <span>not surprising, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought to himself before narrowing his eyes at the bright screen, </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe i should check that.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: hey mate</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: you good?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: techno said you were upset and left and niki said you weren’t at her house</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: will?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: if you don’t wanna come home, that’s okay.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: i just wanna make sure you’re alive</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>--- new messages at 11:51 PM ---</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: will…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: you better be okay</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza is typing . . .</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>his hands hovered over the keyboard as he thought of what to type. he wanted to say something, anything to let phil know he was okay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>(he really wasn’t, but he didn’t need the other to worry more.)</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>another ding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: i’ll stop messaging you for now, but i’ll still be on</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza sent a heart emoji.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tears welled up in his eyes as he went from his sitting position to lying on his back, head resting in the sand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>wilbursoot: im okay</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>wilbursoot: ill be home soon, just not now</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[ding!]</span>
  </em>
  <em></em>
  <span></span><br/>
<br/>

</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: are you sure you’re good?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the phone shook in his hands. he’s never been questioned twice on this, right? he’s always so good at convincing people. he doesn’t know why this message stings so much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>wilbursoot: no</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: son…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>wilbursoot: i can handle myself though!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it was getting harder for him to think correctly. his mind was muddled into multiple thoughts. </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’s okay! he’ll recover! </span>
  </em>
  <span>but at the same time, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he needs help. phil’s right there.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>wilbursoot: it’s just how it is</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>that was a lie and a half, wilbur. you haven’t cried for a year now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>wilbursoot: i don’t want you to leave like everyone else because of my problems</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: we’ve been with each other through hell and back, no way i’m leaving now </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: for fucks sake, i’ve literally adopted you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: i don’t think i can leave after that</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: i care about you, don’t forget about that wilbur</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza sent a heart emoji.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he felt his body shaking, suppressed tears making his head hurt, making everything around him blur into shapes that he couldn’t quite piece together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(the waves looked all too tempting to fling himself into.)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>steadying his hands, he attempted to type one last statement to phil, because he knew he couldn’t make it home in this state. not like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>wilbursoot: phil pelase pick eme up im at the beach</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: that’s only a few minutes away, i’ll be on my way, okay will?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>ph1lza: you’ll be okay.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>wilbursoot: i  i dont think i will</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he put his phone down, and even if he heard another ding, he didn’t check it. he couldn’t. a sob tore through his throat as he put his hands over his face, feeling both relief and a sense of dread. he’s finally crying, but it feels so wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he can’t believe he’s crying. he doesn’t deserve this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the crying continues for a while longer, at least, from what he thinks. it’s dissolved into small hiccups, erratic breathing to hold himself together from the mess that he had just become, but it was all too much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he hears someone walk up to him, (he assumes they’re kneeling down. he doesn’t take his hands off of his face.) putting a comforting hand in his hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“it’s me, will. you’re alright.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>phil. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the musician gently moves his hands off of his face to turn his vision towards phil, and seeing phil look so distraught, so worried for </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> makes him want to cry all over again. he caused phil this guilt. he made him worry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he opens his mouth to speak, to tell phil something, maybe just an ‘i’m okay’ or a ‘i’m so sorry’, but all that comes out is a quiet hiccup. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“it’s okay, you don’t have to talk.” phil said quickly, seeing the other’s eyes widen in panic at the realization that he couldn’t speak.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“let’s go home.” phil quietly said to him, with wilbur nodding in agreement, the blonde slowly pulling him up so that he was standing. most of his weight collapsed against phil, with one of the blonde’s arms wrapped around his waist, the other holding the car keys. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the further they walked, the more drained wilbur felt, but he kept his gaze forward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the two reached the car after what felt like forever, wilbur almost collapsing into the passenger seat as he put his seatbelt on, the other going into the drivers seat and doing the same.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>phil didn’t expect to be carrying a fast asleep wilbur into their house at 1am, but here he was. techno had opened the door for them, with the other, albeit having a tired expression, expressing heavy concern, mouthed ‘is he okay?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the blonde nodded, and set wilbur down on the living room couch, leaning back to go tell tommy and techno goodnight, but wilbur only whined at the loss of contact, in his sleep-deprived state muttering ‘stay, please.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and so phil stayed.</span>
</p>
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